Sin is never a fun thing to deal with. Over the past week, I've had more of my sin shoved into my face than in a very long time. It's a constant thing. Every time I've spent time with Jesus, it's filled with this sin thing and Him working to dig it out. This is sanctification, I get it. But it sucks. And this year has just started. What will come when Spanish class starts, when in a few weeks ministry starts, when we fly off to Aruba and have to deal with everyone's different expectations for the time in the sun? I mean, I can see more of my sin on display right now just thinking about it. What will happen when my teammates start to really bring their conflict to me. Thus far, the sin I've been confronted with has all been brought up by Jesus. But I know there are things I am completely missing at this point. Wahooo!!! Man, I love walking with God but dealing with sin just sucks sometimes. It's the most humbling, "I suck" moments you can have.
Just for clarification, I will give a little more detail. This week so many things have left my mouth that would have been better off staying in or just plain not existing at all. The words range from sheer stupid to kind of mean or short, to the run of the mill "that's awkward and had no place in this conversation". I have been stressed, frustrated and not patient at all. And then I have taken it out on my team. My lovely team that doesn't deserve the backlash of my emotional typhoon or my sin issues.
STINT is about reaching people for Jesus. It is about taking a step of faith because God has called you to some foreign place for the sake of the Gospel. But it is also so much about refining, sanctification and just plain being made more like Jesus. The beautiful thing is in the midst of being humbled by my sin, God is shown to be oh so Holy Holy Holy and glorified in my mind and heart. I have found this to be so much about STINT, about walking with God. I knew this year would be harder. It's all I've heard from other STINTers who went two years. It's really not surprising that being stripped down and having more sin pulled out from the marrow of my soul is a part of the harder. Got to love the start to Round Two!
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